Wednesday, October 15

My Thoughts Are All Over the Place Right Now

I was thinking the other day about our family and our move back to Hometown. Thinking that this coming January, it will have been three years since we've moved back.  It got me thinking even further--that we have actually been back here in Hometown longer than we were ever gone.

If my calculations are correct, and let's face it, there is a good chance they aren't--math was never my best subject.  However, these are just simple calculations and I only started to struggle with math once I got into high school.  Differential equations, anyone?  Anyhow.....I digress.  As I was saying, we lived up in Smalltown exactly 827 days.  Which is 2.27 years OR for those of you who like simpler terms, 2 years and three months.

As of today, we have been back 1,003 days.  It's just shy of 2 years and 9 months, so we have actually been back here in Hometown about 6 months longer than we were ever gone.

Can I hear an amen???!?!  I just can't even believe how fast it has gone by.  Or how God has continued to provide for us.  It was quite the financial stretch for us when we moved back--and as a matter of fact, it still is.  And you know what?  He wasn't kidding about that birds in the air thing:

“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?  And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?  Matthew 6:25-27 NASB

I think I need to do myself a favor and tattoo that on my forehead.  

In case I haven't mentioned it before, I am. a. control. freak.  I like to let myself believe that I (as in me, myself, and I) can control it all.  Yep, I know exactly how much we have deposited in our bank each month and I know where every. penny. goes.  Every penny, I tell you.  And I control that.

But you know what?  I like to think that, but I don't have control.  He does.  He provides Hub's job that pays our bills, He provides our home, and He provides our health and the health of our children. He also provides the food we eat--HE provides everything.

He is the Alpha and the Omega.

But somehow I think I have control. 

Silly me.

It's funny too, because while I like to think I have control, one of the things I always remind myself (and others!) is that He is not a God of coincidences.  (Must be my alter ego??!?)

Things just don't happen.  There was a plan with us moving away when we did.  There was a plan with us moving back when we did.

How we were EVER able to afford for me to quit my job six years ago--in His plan.  

How things with Hub's job have fallen into place--in His plan.

How well things worked out upon our return to Hometown--in His plan.  

And even now, with Peanut going to her sweet little school--in His plan--at least for now.

And let me tell you, that is a huge source of my worry these days.  As in, if I did add hours to my life because of my worry--I'd be living to a ripe, old age!!!   On the worst of my days, I think know we are kidding ourselves in thinking we can continue next year with an even higher tuition payment.

Then, on some of my best days (which are sadly not very often), I think, you know, He already has it figured out.  Whether it be private school, public school, or home school, it will be fine.  It will be just fine.  He can take care of that little girl way, way better than you.

And I have to remember cling to that.  

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.              Matthew 6:34 NASB


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