Saying goodbye has become easier because I am learning not to depend on my family so much. Not that I can't depend on them (because I know I can no matter what life throws at me), but at 30 + years old and after having been married for over six years, I need to depend on my very sweet and patience husband so much more. I am learning to do just that and I am growing as a person (even if just a little!), and more importantly, as a wife. And I am proud to say that. Of course I still my miss my family terribly....but growth for me is good, especially since I don't like to stretch.
However, this season is getting harder too, because my dear sweet Peanut is having to grow up without her grandparents close by. Growing up, I had the advantage of having all my grandparents within a half an hour drive from where we lived. It allowed me a wonderful relationship with my Grandpa.
For most of his life, my husband didn't live close to any of his grandparents and so wishes that he did. And quite honestly, I always thought my children would have the advantage I had as well. But God had other plans--and that's always the case, isn't it? I married a man who grew up two states away from where I did and that is where his parents remain to this day. Then we moved (exactly one year ago this weekend--crazy, huh?) hundreds of miles from where I grew up. I knew lots of different people that didn't have grandparents close by and I always took my situation for granted....and being on the other side now, I know just how hard it is. And I hope for Peanut's sake, that God will bless us in that way again and that we will be able to move back to HomeTown and maybe even some day after that, that DH's parents will be able to move closer as well. (Hint, hint!).
Lastly, with the holiday season nearly upon us, I am having to accept the fact that we probably won't be spending any time with family this year over the holidays and that is going to hard. (The weeks of Thanksgiving and/or Christmas are not exactly ideal to ask for vacation in the restaurant industry.) It sounds like we will be able to make a trip sometime in early December, and I am thankful for that. However, this type of celebration is new to me and my family--having to celebrate the holidays together on some random day that outside factors determine for us.
All of that said, this moping makes me feel really convicted. I am making the holidays all about me and how this is affecting me. And it's not about me. Thanksgiving is about being thankful for the many ways each of us are blessed from the One who provides it all. Christmas is about the purest gift of all. I don't think Jackie and her holiday plans were mentioned in there anywhere....wait, let me double check....nope, I wasn't mentioned at all.
Sooooo...................while it would be so wonderful to celebrate each of these celebrations with family, I need to be joyful regardless.
And that's what I plan to do.
2 comments:
I totally hear ya Jackie... This year will be the last we'll be able to spend with family, for a few years at least, during the holidays. Its hard to think of not being with family during those special times. Your outlook is encouraging and convicts me also. Thanks for your honesty! Loves ~Lauren
Enjoy the time you have together. My father died when I was 11 yo and my mother died one year after my first baby was born - I was 25. Appreciate what you do have
Post a Comment